February 13, 2023

February 13, 2023

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I’m one of those strange people who makes resolutions at the beginning of the year that I actually keep. For this year, a resolution I made was this: Don’t buy any new art supplies. When I decide to commit to a new creative project or series, I tend to think of what new supplies I need for it. But when I went through all my belongings last fall to prepare for the bed bug exterminator, I found troves of forgotten art supplies hidden in drawers, bags, and my supply cabinet. (My apartment isn’t even that big!) So I thought, why don’t I challenge myself to only use what I already have? 

So all of my new personal work will have a variety: paintings on canvas, paintings on paper, illustrations in sketchbooks, and art with pencil, charcoal, ink, and marker. And I’m excited about that! The question hit me the other day: “What do these limitations make possible?”

I’ve even been trying to find other ways to limit myself. For example, I was invited to all the major Comic Cons this year—San Diego, LA, New York, and Chicago. …But I said no to all of them. (I do get free tickets to them, but I have to pay my own way to get there, and that gets expensive. Plus, I’m just exhausted.) I also don’t really have any travel plans this year. I’m normally able to travel cheaply because I visit friends and family. I stay with them and either ride around with them or borrow their car. But still, it would be nice to save some money. Plus, what would happen if, instead of going far and wide, I went “deeper” and got to know my own home better?

I’ve learned over the years that limitations are what guide us to take decisive action, think of innovative solutions, and make something of our lives. Think about the people who create lasting marriages and strong families. They’re not the celebrity “Ryan Gosling” types who have hoards of attractive, interested prospects. Some women might remember those guys as temporarily being a “good time,” but those guys won’t have a family tree they’ve worked hard to cultivate. A legacy comes from two people committing to each other, intentionally limiting their romantic attention and affection to just that one person. Also, how much more valuable is the one person who’s willing to devote exclusive time and effort to see if they could build a whole life with you, rather than the momentary attention of a lot of attractive but noncommittal dates who are just bored on a Friday night and have the attention span of a gnat?

I’ve never been the kind of woman who’s desperate for male attention. Something my mom always said took root in me at a young age: “Don’t worry about getting a lot of guys’ attention because, in the end, you only end up with one.” So I’m just set on finding one who seems right for me. And my idea of that type has definitely changed in the last 10 years. I used to be attracted to the ones who, on paper, are “free-spirited” and “spontaneous,” but in reality, are noncommittal and immature. Now I’m attracted to the opposite: the type who has a steady presence, who puts his phone away when he talks to you. The type who follows through on commitments, and is reliable, kind, and faithful. The type you don’t describe as “hot” (like a cheap, plastic Ken doll with a fake smile), but “handsome,” like a classic car that’s built to last.

The point is, as a grown woman, I’m over the mindset of craving unlimited options and extravagant resources. If I could do whatever or go wherever I want, I wouldn’t do or go anywhere. If I had a whole line of suitors wanting to date me, I wouldn’t commit to any of them. (Not that I ever have that problem. My current relationship status is: going to a shooting range with my best friend for Galentine’s Day.) …So here’s to having simplicity in my life, and creating more profound things with much less.

About the Author

Vania Hardy is an artist, illustrator, and designer who loves helping people find their creative uniqueness and create inspiring spaces in which to live, work, and thrive. Her bodies of work include painted acrylic pieces on canvas, an array of illustrated children's books, and small business branding.

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