April 20, 2022

April 20, 2022

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There’s a small group of people in my life whom I call my “monthlies,” where we have standing monthly coffee meetups. One is a young mom friend, but most are mentors for various aspects of my life, including business. I’ve had a standing “monthly” with a spiritual director for the last 4 years.

At our most recent meetup, she brought out a plant and said, “This was in a much smaller pot when we started meeting 4 years ago. I recently put it in this bigger pot.” I looked at how tall it’s grown as she read a reflection on change. She then asked, “What have you outgrown?”

I was surprised at how much clarity I had for that question. I realized, I’ve outgrown:

  • Isolation. My natural tendency is to do everything myself and not trust anyone to help me, but my first year of self-employment taught me how unsustainable it is. Not to mention, inviting new ideas and ways of thinking adds more color and flavor to a project than I ever thought was possible–even if it’s a bit messy.
  • Passivity. This practice of surrounding myself with mentors is what has inspired and spurred me on the most towards my goals. I’ve felt the difference in having truly solid collaborators who push and challenge me. I’ve made more progress with them in my life than I ever would’ve made alone. And they’ve helped me see that my dreams and passions are worth fighting for.
  • Relational anxietyI’ve accepted that conflict just is. It can’t be avoided. And in fact, it can be honed productively if I’m willing to embrace the awkwardness. When worked through, it can unlock so much clarity and actually form deeper trust. …I still hate it. But now, I welcome it.

Your turn to reflect. What have you outgrown in the last 4-5 years? What are you in the process of outgrowing?

About the Author

Vania Hardy is an artist, illustrator, and designer who loves helping people find their creative uniqueness and create inspiring spaces in which to live, work, and thrive. Her bodies of work include painted acrylic pieces on canvas, an array of illustrated children's books, and small business branding.

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